I’ve always said that when I start my blog that I would leave everything on the table. Simply Average means that I’m struggling with the same issues that everyone else is and I want to share my struggles with you.
For me my weight has always been my biggest cause for insecurity and self hate. My weight has always flexed up and down and rapidly. It’s been something I’ve struggled with ever since I hit puberty. I feel extreme pressure due to my family and culture. Asian women are typically seen as petite and skinny, and I’m none of those things. Ever since I could remember my family and family friends have been telling me how much prettier I would be if I lost a few pounds or how clothes would look nicer and that I could wear this or that if I thinner. This added pressure was something I almost revolted against, I didn’t want them to see how insecure I was about the way I looked.
Being heavier wasn’t because I hated exercise and that I hated eating healthy, I’ve always been competitive and pretty athletic and I’ve always loved vegetables and fruit. I’ve just never known balance. I love food more than anyone I know and never could say no. I would always say that I worked out or that I’ll compensate for my consumption some other way.
It wasn’t until last year after I hurt my back, so badly that I could barely walk let alone work out that I realized that this is the only body that I’ll ever have. I was terrified that at 20-something I might not be able to run another ½ marathon or participate in the things that I love to do. That’s when I started really reevaluating my body and my health.
I want to love my body for what it allows me to do. To be able to go on hikes, runs, vinyasa and just be active is a luxury that we take for granted. I learned more about how to feed my body and what it needs to recover and grow. That food is fuel not just something delicious and it’s changed my life.
With this new found perspective, I no longer worry about the numbers on the scale or what size pants I’m in, I just want to be the strongest and healthiest person I can be. With my back starting to act up again, I just wanted to share my struggle and remind myself and to any of those reading to be patient with your body. It’s amazing what the body is capable of and what we do to help our body will pay off.
I’m far from where I want to be, but I’m making progress everyday. I love where I am and I’ve never felt more confident or proud of myself. Remember it’s never to late to start. I’ll keep you posted with more workouts and meal plans if you’d like. Let me know in the comments below. And if any of you are struggling with body image issues please reach out to me. It’s not a journey anyone should take alone.
I hate showing the before picture, but I promised I would be fully candid. #judgementfreezone